Please... do not think that the discussion we had at the warehouse last night was about just one person!
That is simply not the case.
The have been a number of somewhat disturbing issues that this community has encountered recently which are absolutely not all rooted in a single individual.
Some of the individuals in this community decided to talk about these things last night.
During that meeting, we discussed some possible ways to prevent some events, actual or hypothetical, from happening in the future.
As a result of this meeting, many of us committed to do things that we thought will help!


--


Many of us are already doing incredible things, around here... Mischievia, the North TeXas Burn, is Oct. 4-8 (with work weekends until the event), Burners Without Borders (Canyon Lake cleanup begins this morning, & we will also be continuing with improvements @ Cherrywood Green), and Maker Faire is Oct. 20-21, too!

Flipside's Town Hall will be coming up, soon!


--


But, as I was saying in my previous post:

Reasonableness, Sensitivity, & Self-control sound like excellent guidelines to me...

And I am glad that we were actually able to employ them productively during our discussion at the warehouse, last night.

There were a number of people even committed to carry out a few particular projects!

Such as more year-round participation by larger neighborhood associations, perhaps something like those meta-camp organizations... which are are often referred to as
...villages in Black Rock City...
...or Krewes in New Orleans...
Whatever we call our festivals, they all exist to different degrees of shared virtual & physical space throughout the year, culminating in Burning Flipside.

Newbies in our community could use more interaction, education and training in how to participate. If we're going to have year-round church night, then how much participation can be expected from people naturally functioning in the capacity of Greeter and Ranger Survival Guide & Flipside Flame-like participation, outside of Burning Flipside? Honestly, some of my favorite experiences in my life have been ice-breaker games and all manner of initiations into burner theme camps, villages, projects, etc!

Also, we could all be more conscious of our journalistic, academic & educational integrity. This applies not only to speaking rumors about people be (possibly slander) and when posting online gossip (could be libel). Come on people... remember that we are all publishing into the permanent public record when we blog or participate in email forums!

So, I will start publishing more printed media again, during events & throughout the year.

And I would like to suggest that we hold more workshops to educate people in any number of commonly encountered situations that people could benefit from learning more about...


--


I would like to share some of my experience with people in this community, and some things simply must be participated in, first-hand.
For instance, in the late 80s & early 90s in Austin, I participated in ACT UP demonstrations and direct actions.
http://www.actupny.org/documents/greenbergAU.html
"The inspiration of ACT UP, Larry Kramer, is a playwright by profession. ACT UP demonstrations are theatre outside the bounds of the physical theatrical space. They are theatre in the world, and accomplishing the types of reactions, actions and catharsis that all people in the "conventional theatre" only dream about. We use the same tools, however. Research, intensive pre-production planning, bringing together the actors (demonstrators), rehearsing them and getting to their motivating emotions (anger, fear, loss, love for each other), sets, props, fundraising, publicity -- all this for the single goal of creating a spectacle that will change people's lives and change the world. For the most part, we have been successful."

Our situation is different in some ways, but similar strategy & tactics may be employed effectively.


--


The topic of sexual assault has arisen a number of times in our community, recently... and we are not talking about just one or two people, here! I don't know the exact numbers off the top of my head, but I'll bet you that the statistics go up as the population size go up.

Some of these people, and many others like them may still be found in attendance at any event that you may find in the world... certainly at many parties in Austin, perhaps even Pyropolis, Black Rock City, & other places in the world that have never heard of Burning Man!
NO MATTER WHAT WE DO to improve the safety of our participants... burn events and festivals in general will continue to be "dangerous" places!

This behaviour is not an isolated incident, perpetrated by a single individual.
Unfortunately, sexual assault happens in every city in our world, including Pyropolis & Black Rock City.

In Black Rock City, The Bureau of Erotic Discourse has been helping to educate people about avoiding sexual assault since 2005.
You have probably seen the B.E.D. stickers in the porta-potties, in B.R.C.:
"Ask before Touching.
Ask before taking pictures.
Yes means yes.
No means no.
Silence is not consent.
Respect sexual boundaries.
This is not a petting zoo."
( sticker image & informational materials behind cut )

I think that perpetrators of sexual assault should be prosecuted to the fullest extent that the law allows.
And I also believe that one of the best ways for people to prevent future crimes is to encourage people to educate & protect themselves.
Perhaps we could utilize further educational services in our own city of Pyropolis, similar to those that B.E.D. provides in B.R.C.?
I know that there is a section in the Survival Guide that addresses this; but perhaps putting removable flyers in the porta-potties & conducting workshops would be a good idea?
I will even volunteer to assist in the organization of such services for Burning Flipside 2008!

Honestly though, NO MATTER WHAT PRECAUTIONS WE EMPLOY, you can pretty much assume that there *will* be some degree of "predatory" behaviour at *any* event that is as hedonistic as burn events tend to be... so learn to protect yourself, and teach your friends to do the same!
Don't fool yourselves, people... burn events are not fluffy-bunny, rainbow & marshmallow campfire boys & girls camping trips!
Although you may meet friendly folks, you also run the risk of encountering creepy people.
People often encounter actual "predators" at burn events.
There are other dangers, as well ...from "The Lord of The Flies" to "The Heart of Darkness."
We don't do backgound checks on every person that attends our event (not that such a procedure would necessarily discover any potential risk, although it might reveal some obvious dangers).
The LLC & CC are there to help minimize the risks; but they will never be able to ensure your safety, completely.
Read the back of the ticket & the survival guide... take the warnings seriously ...enter at your own risk!

"Trust, but verify (your *own* risk in participation at a burn event, or anywhere else you go)."
Or, as I have said before, "Cover your own ass, unless you want to risk someone having their way with it!"

In communities as diverse as ours, there will often be transgressions of people's boundaries, in one form or another.
Alternative means of conflict resolution are encouraged, as long as they don't involve vigilante action (although "V for Vendetta" is an excellent graphic novel & a decent film, it's not an ideal situation in which to find yourself).
If you believe that someone has betrayed your trust in a criminal way, it may be a decent idea to discuss the matter with trusted counsel (perhaps a close friend, or even an unbiased counselor or therapist).
But please be reassured that the police are available to assist you, 24 hours a day, 365&1/4 days a year.

As we have been reminded all too often, recently... there are situations in which we DO need to contact the authorities for assisstance.

Alright, if you haven't had enough of the controversy already, I have finally scribbled out 1933 2101 2240 2249 words about my experiences, thoughts & feelings concerning this year's mischief @ Burning Man:


( If you see The Man in the road... burn him! )

--

Tonight, I will be attending Church Night @ The AAR, LLC warehouse (oops, willya look at the time!)... I am looking forward to participating in lancehunter's Burners Without Borders-inspired project to clean up Cherrywood Green!

--

My lj friends list only goes back 960 entries, which only took me back to august 31st & thus about a week short of being able to catch up on everyone's posts... and honestly, I really only skimmed most of the entries that I could read; and I will go back later & read things in more detail when I get more time... so, if you posted something during the time I was @ burning man that you urgently want me to read, then let me know! otherwise, it may take me a while to get around to catch up with events in the "default world"

I love my friends...
We are an ecclectic bunch!
Even if not everyone agrees with everyone else.
I trust that we will still be able to agree to disagree & manage to find ways to enjoy one anothers' company, still?!!!
Many of my friends don't even know each other, but when they post in their journals...
( my brain takes this sometimes radically disparate data & attempts to compare & contrast all of the information in order to understand what's really happening! )

oh, and if you're in doubt as to whether or not you should click on the lj-cut, here's a brief list of some of the tags for this entry:
Declaration of Independence, irony, American Revolution, Keith Olbermann, Leviathan, journalism, Bush, Cheney, Rove, accountablility, John Wayne, Nixon, escape, prosecution, crime, Ford, vitriol, criticism, blame, lawyers, greed, finance capitalists, corporate stockholders, news, media, biting the hand that feeds them, paradigm shift, sovereignty, independence, Desovereignization, globalization, internet, communications, trade, supra-national corporations, Constantinople, Istanbul, Edward Gibbon, mercenary army, It cannot happen here, corporate armies, private security corporations, Transnational Gangs, Blackwater, cyberpunk, transhumanism, technology, singularity, ganesha, obstacle, individual, collective, short term, long term, goal, method, game theory, evolution, cooperation, win-win

Funny how synchronicity works, sometimes... the Full moon during the festival of Imbolc!
(I previously addressed Imbloc, and related harbingers of Spring in the post entitled: Hope for the flowers?)

In the interest of "exceeding by delicacy," I have been making an effort to communicate with people one-on-one more often, in the interest of understanding their language better. That way, I can at least conduct my part of our relationship with more consideration for their feelings. I have found that this is often difficult to do online, even though electronic text is such a temptingly efficient means of communicating with many people at one time. It's so difficult to explain the complexities of of our interpersonal relationships to each other in person, much less to the whole world through a digital interface.

May I take a moment to say that, although I trust the counsel of many of my close friends & esteemed colleagues, I do not think that there is anyone who cannot also benefit from consultation with unbiased professional counsel (physicians, lawyers, psychiatrists, stock brokers, teachers, therapists, engineers, religious officiants, accountants, private investigators, librarians, etc.). Obviously, I am not suggesting that anyone should depend solely upon professional counsel; but I do believe that you can get what you pay for, if you are careful. And of course, just b/c someone has a degree & experience in a field certainly does not make them flawless; but it does afford you with at least a slightly higher probability that their opinion is going to be more useful than the average schlub.

I have really appreciated my recent participation in counseling with Bob McGarey, M.A. @ The Human Potential Center. His Poly Communication Survival Kit focusses on five basic communication techniques which are generally useful in any realtionship (poly, or otherwise). I also really enjoyed the Intro to Communication Speech class I fianlly took @ ACC, recently. My professor, Dr. Lyn Colangelo, is totally awesome & she has great outlines of basic communication concepts on her webpage. Also, "The Usual Error" workshops are another inexhaustible local resource that I have enjoyed every single time i have participated! I'm sure that y'all have noticed by now that some people have really different ideas of how to love one another (even the xtians are starting to figure that out). Lack of direct communication was the inspiration behind the creation of areopagus; but more recently, I have been contemplating how to design a community that encourages Rogerian communication. The mojo_meeting was an excellent example of how awesome a gathering can be when people excercise the sort of basic communication skills that kids learn in kindegarten, like: taking turns, & how to share, in general. When people practice this kind of communication, they are often able to develop more understanding, sympathy & respect for each other. I look forward to exploring these, and other evolving & productive modes of communication out at Burning Flipside this year, facilitating the planning of events around the effigy, and developing Alternate Reality Games to play with The Crystal Ball.

This post is macrocosmic, in that it was cobbled together from various microcosms... some of which I have posted elsewhere recently; but all of these microcosms in some way reflect each other, as well as the whole macrocosm: As above, so below.

it is rare that i meet individuals whom i am able to trust so quickly and learn to love so unconditionally as i feel that i have in my relationships with todfox, and eposia... so, it just figures that eposia would have to move away for her career advancement just as we are getting to know one another. b/cs is not that far away, though... we moved her out there today, which just so happens to have been the 61st anniversary of D-Day! the whole situation has given me cause to re-evaluate much of what i want in my life. so, i am absolutely grateful that i have had the opportunity to develop these relationships at all, in any form, and i will continue to cherish them to the best of my abilities.

and for further irony, valela and i were able to have a discussion this evening which seems to have reminded us how much we share in our worldviews on the issues of attachment and expectation in relationships...

many of my own recent inter-personal discoveries and accomplishments have centered around recognition and exploration of network polyamory as my relationship model, and here are a few of my personal re-affirmations that i have been chanting recently...

--

i appreciate the ways in which i am able to celebrate mutually beneficial relationships with people instead of focussing on attachment to and resentment of what isn't working in any given relationship!

and i find that i am infinitely more willing to give to any relationship in which my partners:

* do not have unspoken expectations... and instead are able to clarify with me what exact expectations we have of one another (simple human consideration/compassion/kindness... openness, honesty, responsibility... reasonable shared ethics for civilized folks with educated consciences)

* aren't dependent upon me for things i have not agreed to provide... i have recently been reminding myself of how important it is for me to have many different possible coping skills/methods for any given situation/issue/stressor... and that i prefer to depend on other human beings as little as possible, so that i am instead able to appreciate them for their assistance when it is given freely, rather than resenting when they are not available for whatever reason

* aren't attached to me fulfilling their desires unless i have agreed to do so... i believe that it is crucially important for humans to recognize and communicate their desires to one another, without _expectation_ that they will be fulfilled by a particular person unless that person consents to do so... this is an essential appliation for the idea of "without lust of result" ...i will share my love for the sake of doing so... as a gift without requirement of return... although i will endeavor to reciprocate whenever possible, and i will certainly appreciate reciprocation myself, i do not expect anything in return for that which i have given.

--

i have found that there's a simple formula for my behaviour (which also seems to work quite well for most other people)... when you offer me the liberty to express my love in whatever ways feel natural to me, i am much more likely to give that love to you (perhaps that's not entirely unlike what François Rabelais was getting at...)

I seem to have found a rather compelling explanation for my recent ill health. I have been reading this book that I am rather fond of, called, "If The Buddha Dated." In this book, I came across some crucial information, the accuracy of which I further confirmed in a discussion with a Psychiatrist friend...

` ` Interestingly, according to Paul Pearsall, author of Sexual Healing, the biochemical response to constant infatuation, being "in-love," or seeking a sexual high without an authentic personal connection leads us to produce large amounts of epinephrine (adrenaline), which creates chronic agitation or feelings of restlessness and nervousness. This, in turn, can result in irritability, fatigue, and the breakdown of the immune system, leading to chronic anxiety and depression. This experience is truly love-sickness. When people get hooked on the epinephrine high and seek only the thrill, just about anyone will do. Pearsall writes, "Hot reactive sex followed by cool feelings of regret or loneliness can eventually teach our immune system to be as ... disconnected as we have been in our intimate decisions."

On the other hand, when we create a mindful, loving, personal connection with another, and we are sexually attracted to that person, our bodies produce the hormone oxytocin, which contributes to feelings of intense closeness, trust, and sensual feelings. Incidentally, oxytocin is the same hormone that is secreted when a mother nurses her baby (q.v. the initially seemingly off-topic discussion about the relationships between milk & addiction in a previous post concerning the correlation between lies and disease). According to Pearsall, "it's the neurochemical of intimate connection that also helps balance the immune system." It takes considerable periods of time in a growing, reciprocal, loving union for our bodies to stop creating an epinephrine high and secrete oxytocin instead, which means that many people never have the experience of intense intimacy.

When we combine the knowledge of our biochemistry with our spiritual knowledge, we see that what is good for our spiritual journey is good for our relationships and for our immune system. There is no separation between the three. It's as if our bodies are begging us to love well, use our intelligence, and be wise in our choices. ' '

I am similarly reminded of one of my favorite mnemonics (which is also quite reminiscent of the recent psychology=physiology conversation):
"There is no separation between the material and the divine... and anybody that tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell you something."


I realize that I seem to have been utilizing my loving and sexual relationships with other people as coping mechanisms for too long... that i need to focus on personal rituals, rather than methods dependent upon another's participation to deal with my own life. Although I didn't consciously realize that I had been doing this, the results of my behaviour in this neurological context indicate to me that I must have been... which I think is a particularly bad idea, as this sort of thing could easily be construed as a violation of Kant's Categorical Imperative. Apparently, I have not used the best judgement in selecting partners who identify with my ideals, nor have I excercised the finest temperance in guiding my own behviour.

For my own growth and development, as well as improvement of my relationships with other people, it's time for me to get back to disciplines like meditation, chanting, yoga, and martial arts, as well as my divination and devotional practices. And I will be going an another solitary camping trip this week, to get back in touch with my own essential nature. Perhaps I will manage to find the cosmic reset button, while I'm at it...

It's true that i often cater to the preferences and motivational needs of my audience. It's a chamaeleon-like nature, i suppose; but not intended to be manipulative. It's just that i simply want to make my communications more palatable to people's particular individual tastes, if possible. There are no upper-case letters in truth, fact, or reality... those tendencies people have to capitalize such things are probably left-overs from mono-theism, which we can usually do without. So, whatever facets that we happen to be discussing at any given time, i realize that the map is not the territory. trans_simian & i were talking about ethics last night, and i certainly don't want to have any hidden agendas -- i just don't want to waste anyone's time bothering them with information they're not interested in hearing.

Today, i see that many people are unsurprisingly talking about similar issues related to truth... m7superstar talks about closure in a manner that is dear to my heart... and hanzatsu talks about extreme honesty, & truth vs. facts

If i have used the bull in the china shop method of radical honesty method previously (q.v. my crude but effective radical honesty experiment, areopagus... or my post on how people are annoyed with my utilization of game theory), i am attempting to utilize more tact at this juncture (damn, those geek social fallacies of mine!)... Although i recognize that triangles are difficult structures for many people to manage, i'm not entirely certain that my current tactic utilizing one-on-one dialogue suits my nature, or the interests of my community; but my intention is to be considerate. Public silence has just always reminded me of Victorian/Puritan conventions that disgust me. But i suppose that hermetic communication is only strategic silence; so in its practice, the moral responsibility to the greater good can be honored. And although looking in the mirror is a powerful metaphor, i would like to stress that the important thing is that one's conscience must be educated, and the ideas of honesty, openness, and responsibility are a good start.

Jiminy Cricket needs all the help he can get...

As i'm sure by now, all of us here have encountered someone in our lives who justifies their whimsical transgression of another's boundaries by perverting the expression of "Do What Thou Wilt"

For levity, i am also reminded of an amusing Z-Cluster diatribe called, _Why Chaos Magicians Are Such Assholes,_ by Max K, the Little Sister of the Order. But on a serious note, there's even a webpage out there with some great resources for dealing with Pagan Bullies, which i only think mildly amusing that i found through a post by tim_maroney

i suppose it's probably somewhat ironic that i'm talking about this 'cause i'm such a "judgmental moralist" (although i've mentioned this sort of thing before in one context or another). But if people don't appreciate my ethics, then they don't have to play with me... i determine the rules i use within my own boundaries. And for further reference, please consult the gestalt prayer.

( Here are a couple of the more reliable musings on the Law of Life, Light, and Liberty that i have found... )

i am reposting this, since i don't think it appeared in anyone's journals, the last time i tried to post it -- and even if it did, it certainly bears repeating:

(re: fulguritus's public service announcement):

jealousy, envy, anger, sadness, fear & low self-esteem got you down?

compersion to the rescue!

or, perhaps you would prefer the term, "frubbly?"

...anyone care to share an experience of love conquering all?

thank you SO much, hanzatsu, for taking notes during our meeting about forgiveness... and posting them for us to enjoy in the new mojo_meeting community!
this is pure bliss to be able to see how deep we explored and realize that we have still only scratched the surface of the issues.
( my response to the notes dragged on so long, i thought it best to make a new post... )

x-posted to aethyrflux & mojo_meeting ...please join our new community and make comments there!

According to this article on the Prisoner's Dilemma, "A New Way To Think About Rules To Live By," by Carl Sagan:

` ` The most admired standard of behavior in the West is the Golden Rule. Its formulation in the first-century Gospel of St. Matthew is: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Almost no one follows it consistently. When the Chinese philosopher K'ung-Tzu (known as Confucius in the West) was asked in the sixth century B.C. his opinion of the Golden Rule - of repaying evil with kindness - he replied, "Then with what will you repay kindness?" ' '

On a related note, when admonished to "turn the other cheek," i will in turn ask:


( how many cheeks have i? )

i have found that serious intimacy often breaks down severely with more than six or seven people in a group, unless there is some seriously heroic level of commitment to structured cooperation. i have always conceived of this immediate level of social grouping as a "hearth," in the context of a home, as a vital creative center, and with respect to the goddess hestia.

personally, when i plan parties or performances, for instance... i prefer to work with not more than around 60 people. sure, i'll participate in larger events, but i have found that it is difficult to keep more than 60 or so people really interacting in a dynamic way for very long before distractions ensue (the spectacle effect). perhaps this level of social grouping is something like what the CAW calls a "nest?" (also q.v. the tradition of paratheatrical research begun by Jerzy Grotowski)

this number between 40-60 at the most seems approximately equivalent to the largest size that one usually finds in traditional reciprocal cultures, like the orang asli... or, as mentioned below in the comment by pturing, "the Monkeysphere (is) the group of people who each of us, using our monkeyish brains, are able to conceptualize as people. If the monkey scientists are monkey right, it's physically impossible for this to be a number larger than 150."

the upper limit on size of societies which are capable of working cooperatively in general is certainly a valid question. the impact of modern human society has in many cases outpaced our response to the indicators of sustainable communities.

i had previously sought for examples of reciprocal behaviour in human society and came up with these three modern examples:

the Israeli Kibbutz, anarcho-syndicalism/collectivist-anarchism in Spain during the civil war 1936-39, & Norway after 1994 (social individualist anarchism)

one might also consider freecycling, gift economy in general, the international co-operative movement, ecovillages, and intentional communities in general, not to mention numerous communal cults, or even the lifestyles associated with nomadic festivals like the rainbow tribe, and burning man.

i just found a fascinating page, called the ethical spectacle, which considers applications of the Prisoner's Dilemma to a number of specific real-life situations. also, here's a chapter called, "Exchange and Gift," from "The Revolution of Everyday Life," by Raoul Vaneigem. and with inspiration from a post by tacit concerning the nature of cooperation, it's time for me to return to my studies of reciprocal altruism, and game theory in general, to put these ideas back into perspective.

amusingly enough, there is a theory offerred in this nature article (that requires purchase to view), which according to michael bluejay, "suggests that humans cooperate with each other out of a desire to punish freeloaders."

...silly me, and here i thought i was just doing my will without lust of result!

x-posted in part from a flame war in polyamory

although there are really quite a few people out there who just don't like to do math... the understanding and implementation of game theory does require a certain degree of mathematical familiarity (even if only on an intuitive level), and some people just don't like to do any sort of number-crunching... which is ok, but they're not going to be the sort of people who will want to speak with me utilizing the language of game theory (not that game thoery itself doesn't take that into account).

i often get the feeling that i really haven't communicated what i mean by game theory... There's a brief summary of game theory in terms of it's application to ethics, in a this article by Carl Sagan, entitled, "A New Way To Think About Rules To Live By," which ends with the following summary of the most basic non-zero sum game, The Prisoner's Dilemma:

` ` The Prisoner's Dilemma is a very simple game. Real life is considerably more complex. But its central lessons are striking: Be friendly at first meetings. Do not envy. Be generous; forgive your enemy if he forgives you. Be neither a tyrant or a patsy. Retaliate proportionately to an intentional injury (within the constraints of the rule of law). And make your behavior fairly (although not perfectly) clear and consistent. What would the world be like if more of us, individuals as well as nations, lived by these rules? ' '

reciprocal altruism is a particular strategy of evolutionary cooperation that can be useful when analyzing human behaviour in terms of game theory, or any number of other sociological models (again, the map is not the territory...)

although it is certainly one of my goals to develop relationships based on reciprocal altruism (or something similarly cooperative), this is not something that i think is achievable without some kind of enforcement guaranteeing thet your partner(s) will not defect against you, as is implied by the prisoner's dilemma.

another perspective to consider is offerred in this article by Howard Rachlin, "Altruism and Selfishness" ...considering altruism as an abstract synergy in the gestalt of human experience.

here are some further resources for the prisoner's dilemma... and don't miss Al Roth's game theory and experimental economics page (ouch, i think i hurt my brain... i'll get back to y'all on that one after i'm less math-challenged, and hopefully before i learn as much about the mathematics of game theory as john nash?)

i have attempted to explore reciprocal altruism and other forms of evolving cooperation before in my journal.

addendum 08/21/04 @ 02:45
and i will continue in my endeavour to create mutually beneficial relationships, whenever possible

Back when i started writing in my livejournal, i had just learned about Melanie Klein's theory of "projective identification." Recently, my friend yoginibare mentioned the "Bowen Theory of Triangles" and we talked about how such theories can be applied to organizations/communities. This exploration has also led me to discover the work of Wilfred Bion, who wrote extensively on group dynamics. These concepts are useful in analyzing the process where friendship groups lead to the institutionalization of elitism, which was described in "The Tyranny of Structurelessness," by Jo Freeman.

( cursory examinations of Klein's idea of projective identification, Bowen's theory of triangles, and Bion's theories of group dynamics, etc., punctuated by way too many hyperlinks for anyone else to really bother reading it all; but i must keep track of all of this information somehow... )

i have this tendency to seek long-term relationships with people... i want to establish a sense of community, so that i can feel like my time and efforts will be reciprocated at some point. but i seem to have continually fallen into relationships with people who are apparently only willing to scam on me in the short term... lie to me, use me until i can take no more of the abuse. perhaps i will be able to see the red flags in the future, everyone else seems to see them, why haven't i? i have trusted people too easily. strange, i didn't think i was asking too much: openness, honesty, and responsibility. oh well: fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me. i will not allow my experiences with unsafe risks to prevent my enjoyment of future relationships in safe, sane, and consensual ways. it's time for more banishings... the past is done, and i will move on to new beginnings with renewed vigor. and so, jiminy cricket inspired a response to this post.